I’ve gone this long without a grammar/punctuation post, but I’ve decided that it’s time for one. Dialog interrupted by narration seems to be a very common punctuation sticking point. Since it’s something I often find myself correcting, I thought it would make a good introductory technical tip.
The rule for inserting narration into dialog is simple. Periods after the first fragment are followed by upper case letters. Commas after the first fragment are followed by lower case.
Determine where your narration interrupts the dialog. Is it mid-sentence or at a break between sentences?
If it’s a single sentence, interrupted mid-flow, it should be offset by commas and neither the narrative nor the continuation should be capitalized:
“I could do that,” she said, “or I could just kill you where you stand.”
If two sentences are separated by narrative, you have a choice as to where the period falls. Just be consistent. If there’s a period in either spot, you have ended the sentence of dialog. The next sentence of dialog must start with a capital.
“I could do that,” she said. “Or I could just kill you where you stand.”
or
“I could do that.” She said, “Or I could just kill you where you stand.”
or even
“I could do that.” She smiled. “Or I could just kill you where you stand.”
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{ 2 comments }
So, if a comma must be followed by a lower case letter (which makes complete sense), why is this example okay?
“I could do that.” She smiled, “Or I could just kill you where you stand.”
Because the “Or” begins a new sentence of dialog: “I could do that. Or I could just kill you where you stand.” It’s the narration in the middle that has to be made consistent with it.
You raise a good point, though, and I’ll edit the post accordingly, for clarification.
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