Today’s guest post comes from J. Daniel Sawyer, podcaster and author. His short fiction will be appearing in the upcoming anthology “The Pod Complex: A Dragon Moon Press Podthology,” featuring some of the best short stories in speculative podcast fiction, forthcoming in April 2010. If you can’t wait that long, and you shouldn’t, go to www.jdsawyer.net and start getting hooked on “The Antithesis Progression” and “Down From Ten” today.
Measuring Up
by J. Daniel Sawyer
There is a theory that states that one day soon the metric system will dominate the world. There is another theory that states that this has already happened, and Americans simply haven’t noticed. There is yet a third theory that states that certain authors, such as the one who wrote this blog post, are insensibly prone to expressing themselves in idioms lifted from the works of Douglas Adams. This third theory is, of course, the most convincing.
However, even granting the validity of the third theory, we are left to puzzle over the first two, as well as the distance corollary to Murphy’s law, which states that in instruction manuals and fantasy novels, all measurements and velocity will be stated in units which are least immediately intelligible to the audience (e.g. measuring a city bus’s average speed in “furlongs per fortnight”).
Setting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, one of the basic tasks a writer faces is choosing the measurement system in which he will communicate his story. Will he tacitly endorse White European Occidental conceit by using the Imperial system (inches/pints/pounds) or will he opt for the more enlightened, international, and human-rights friendly Metric System (meters/liters/grams)?*
A certain amount of this probably comes down to the same factors as language, politics, and religion (i.e. people reflexively think and write in terms of the systems they were born into), but writers of speculative, fantastic, or period fiction have to actually do the calculus and choose a system they want to use, and decide why they want to use it.
So why would any American not trained in the sciences subject her audience to the taxing mental arithmetic of converting kilometers into miles, for example? Why would a European or Commonwealth author decide to go with the Imperial system when writing a story not set in England or America?
The answers vary. Anything from “I want to look cool” to “they have cooler drugs in Amsterdam” will do in a pinch, but writers who are interested in having their stories hold together internally may want to look a little bit deeper. In my own science fiction universe, that of The Antithesis Progression, I slavishly bow to the metric system – but (shockingly, to those who know my sycophantic ways) do it not because it looks cool, but because the bulk of the story takes place off-world. I reasoned, in setting up my universe, that astrogation calculations, as well as all the day-to-day math needed to run one’s life, will be simpler, faster, and easier to do in Metric than in Imperial units. As such, even space travelers predisposed to thinking in Imperial units will find life easier in Metric. Add to that the population bias of a second and third-generation off-world civilization, seeded largely by engineers and scientists, and it seemed ridiculous to me to suppose that people in such a world would think in Imperial units. Which is a shame, as it means I have to use my conversion calculator about four times a page, adding an extra “pain in the ass” factor to the writing process.
Other stories I’ve written, by contrast, use the Imperial system wherever I can get away with it, because that’s how my brain habitually measures things, and I’m a big believer in getting out of my own way as much as possible. Setting stories in Victorian England makes the Imperial System a no-brainer, as does telling the tale of an American tourist waiting for his sweetheart at a train station in northern Italy. There are some other situations, though, where the call is not so easy to make.
Take, for example, a fantasy novel set in an alternate reality. Would such a culture have miles or kilometers? Would they have something entirely novel, for example a standard unit of weight based on the size of a dead king’s skull filled with gold dust? What if you set a story in Imperial China, which had its own novel and internally consistent (and highly codified) system of weights and measures? In either case, as the author you are faced with the responsibility of rendering the unintelligible, intelligible:
1) You could cop out, as did the original Battlestar Galactica, and just re-name standard units of time or distance with over-hip cutesy crap and hope your audience catches on.
2) You could take the approach Neil Gaiman did in Murder Mysteries, where he tells the audience in the text, “A lot of this stuff I’m translating already…putting it into images you can understand…it wasn’t really like this.”
3) You could just translate transparently and trust that the audience won’t notice (they probably won’t).
4) You could choose to write around the issue by measuring journeys in time, heights in relative terms (John the Barbarian was about twice as tall as Edith the Amazing Dwarf Woman), ditto for other weights and measures.
However, you must not blend measurement systems without a compelling reason. If you have two POV characters, one French and one American, and each thinks in their own system, that’s fine. If you have an American without formal scientific training thinking in terms of miles one minute and kilograms the next, she’d better be schizoid or your audience will dock you points for competence.
You must also be accurate and consistent in your measurements. Don’t have a person who weighs eight stones register 200lbs on the bathroom scale. Don’t assume that a kilometer is 2.2 miles just because a kilogram is 2.2 pounds. If you’re writing outside of your native measurement system, keep a conversion chart handy, and check everything. After all, a journey of a thousand miles doesn’t begin well when you start it with a half-meter stagger.
Finally, remember: For some things, it’s more impressive when you measure in centimeters. But only for some things.
*footnote: The Metric system, being largely French, is ipso facto immune from all charges of European Imperialist bias, on the grounds that the French words for such things are largely unpronounceable for people who don’t currently have a mouthful of hot porridge.
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J. Daniel Sawyer is a hat-wearing, obsessive-compulsive nutcase attempting to write his way out of the looney bin. He’s the author of numerous fiction podcasts including Sculpting God, Down From Ten, and The Antithesis Progression (which earned him a spot as a 2009 Parsec Finalist). Lacking in personal qualities things that make for respectable character (such as the ability to sit still and shut up), he’s forced to channel his lack of decorum into the fields of photography, a/v production, and writing for outfits like LinuxJournal and the occasional speculative fiction anthology.
When not working on his new secret steampunk fantasy adventure or getting into other mischief, he can be heard hosting the skeptical salon The Polyschizmatic Reprobates Hour, and as the narrator of Free Will, book two of The Antithesis Progression, both available through www.jdsawyer.net.


