Tag Archive for 'humor'

Questions Answered

Each day, these blog posts collect dozens of comments that aren’t fit to print. Spammers are so inspired by my posts that they write in to tell me all about their lives and their creative endeavors, and even their personal bedroom secrets and the medications that enrich their private lives!

I have one spam-bot that sends me really, really bad riddles every day. Like, really bad. Like, your eight-year-old would roll her eyes and say “I heard that one already!” …But they do make a refreshing change from the usual.

They also ask me many, many questions, so I thought today would be a fitting day to finally acknowledge them publicly, thank them for their trust and confidence, and give them some answers.

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I just in love with your weblog! Very nice post! Nevertheless you can do several things to enrich it, and i will be back?

Thanks for your suggestion! This blog is now enriched with 26 vitamins and minerals, to be a part of your balanced breakfast. My cat is licking the screen as I type, and she approves.

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I have a diverse take on this subject. I have researched it much all around the internets and for many years. You must have done a lot of research on this topic, which is one near and dear to my heart. You have an interesting and refreshing take on this issue. I could not agree more.

This one’s more a comment than a question. It would also have been a lot more compelling if it hadn’t been written in response to my Ad Astra schedule.

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Great site I love your colors the theme is awesome and the color composition. What template do you use? go here [link redacted] to improve your credit rating!

Almost a real question! The answer is K2, which I find to be highly adaptable and easy to use.

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Nice post you wroted about live cams. Can u write more?

“more”

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I love blog posts about this topic. I notice a great improvement inside your writing, I would love to obtain in touch. Maintain the fantastic do the job! Your composing is very inspirational for someone who is new at all to this kind of stuff. Would you like to see [celebrity name redacted] in pantyhose?

Uh.. no.

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Do you have more info about colon cleansing?

No, but your semi-colons can be safely run through the dishwasher on “low” once a month.

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Thank you, spam filter settings!

If you have any real questions about writing, editing or publishing, please leave a comment or use my contact form. Thanks!

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Knowing the Formula

Writing advice will often tell you that you have to know the formula in order to break it. Nothing makes that rule clearer than comedy does.

As I mentioned last Thursday on National Grammar Day, without an appreciation for the rules of Grammar, we wouldn’t have the basic framework to understand why LOLcats and Oddly Specific signs are funny.

Sometimes the humor isn’t in twisting “the formula”, it’s in exposing it… as in these examples, presented for your viewing and listening pleasure. Enjoy!

* Tribune’s banned words, all in one sentence.

* The definitive Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer. (youtube link. requires sound.)

* The definitive boy band song: Title of the Song by Da Vinci’s Notebook. (requires sound. Yes… as songs often do! *cough*) If you like their music, please consider purchasing it.

(Part of Da Vinci’s Notebook tours these days as Paul and Storm. Insert gratuitous plug here. They’re worth catching, if you get a chance!)

* And The Onion reports: Nation Shudders at Large Block of Text. WASHINGTON—Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text. (click link for the rest of the story!)

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Have a picture of a cat.

There’s nothing I can say today. Instead, I turn to our friends at I Can Has Cheezburger:

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Exacting Standards?

Pearls Before Swine

…Yes.

(But it’s still not a crapshoot!)

Click through the image of Tuesday’s comic (above) and continue forward — it seems to be the start of a story arc!

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Bard-inspired

William Shakespeare was baptized April 26, 1564 and died April 23, 1616. Whether you’re celebrating his birth or commemorating his death, this is the Bard’s week.

There are a lot of Shakespeare-inspired gifts out there. Far more than I could spotlight or even list in a single post. They could fill a whole blog by themselves. But, in honor of the Bard, I thought I’d share a few of the wittiest offerings I’ve found:

The Romeo & Julienne cutting board brings a literary touch to your kitchen. It’s available from perpetualkid, from Amazon, and from numerous other shops online.

Two clever applications of Shakespearean quotations are available from the Globe Theatre’s gift shop: an “Out, damned spot!” eraser and a “Hoods make not monks” hoodie.

But you don’t need to travel all the way to the source to find your witty clothing. A search for “Shakespeare” on Cafepress will keep you busily browsing for quite a while.

In the current clever vein, though, the t-shirt proclaiming “And thus I clothe my naked villany” is most deserving of a special mention!

Have a favorite Shakespearean-themed gift? Drop me a line or leave a note in the comments!

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Evil Monkey’s Guide to Kosher Imaginary Animals

It’s just a couple short weeks until the start of Passover (the holiday comes early this year: sundown on Wednesday, April 8th). As you’re beginning your holiday preparation, keep a copy of the guide to kosher imaginary animals nearby.

It’s hard enough to stick to a restricted diet while on a normal vacation, much less when stranded in a mystical ocean or enchanted forest, but Ann VanderMeer, practicing Jew and editor of Weird Tales has contributed her knowledge so that we all might benefit. Small enough to print and store on the shelf with your cookbooks, this guide will soon be a kitchen reference staple!

Just as all scholarly Jewish writings do, this one invites interpretation and further question. Be sure to browse the comments too, to learn when it’s appropriate to wrap bacon around a hobbit.

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Happy how-do-you-spell-that-again? day!

I don’t usually make two link/image posts in a row, but this time it’s for a special occasion: Valentine’s Day is this weekend.

First of all, since February is Misused Apostrophe Month, let’s set the record straight:

Groundhog Day doesn’t have one.
Valentine’s Day is the day of St. Valentine.
Presidents’ Day is the day of more than one president.

Are we good?

Good. Now, on to business.

While I don’t go out of my way to nitpick the spelling and grammar of my friends and associates, I always appreciate those special, special mishaps that make it into the public domain on posted signs, on product packaging, and on… cakes.

Cake Wrecks has a very special Valentine’s themed post. Ah… sweet, sweet spelling.

mmmm cake

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Mascot: Editorcat

I had a serious post in mind for today, but I saw this on icanhascheezburger last night and, well, I think this one speaks for itself.


I never have days like this, either.

Actually, I’m really fortunate right now. All my clients lately have been wonderful, eloquent, and easy to work with. May the trend continue!

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Back to Work

I had a lovely holiday with family, and now I’m back in the office looking at the two manuscripts on my desk.

In the spirit of the season, my mother had asked me if I would like one of those “I am the grammarian about whom your mother warned you” shirts. I graciously declined, and pointed her toward my Grammar Vampires post.

However, in the process of browsing related things, I did come across the irritable vowels shirt. (second item on the page)

irritable vowels @ themorningnews.org

I never have days like that.

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The Really Important Proofreading Marks

Today, a classic:

editingmarks.jpg (c) Eve Corbel

Oh, if only.

via Geist:Comix.

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